After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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