like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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