Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
