the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
