okay pat passed out under dana's car
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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