Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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