You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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