i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
