the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
