What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
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