By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
