do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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