hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
