Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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