I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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