The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize