I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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