She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
