youre lurking in front of me
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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