he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
