they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
