This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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