I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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