i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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