I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
