So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
