i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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