someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
