I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
is it fun? or sober?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
