idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
