I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
