Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
