No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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