I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
sex in a hospital.. check
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Couch. On fire.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
