grandma shit on top of the toilet
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
