hotel room ftw
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
