I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
