just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize