Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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