you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
