I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
