no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
