His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
