I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Randomize
