So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
