i think i have herpe
just one?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
