I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The beer is more important than you right now.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
