a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
