I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Text me some of your sweat
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
