sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
