I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
