He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
