i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
