Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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