i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This baby is an asshole
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
