Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
