The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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