Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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