Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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