do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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