i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
