Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
