i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
