remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
